FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

"WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe" (wesbarton89)
03/29/2015 at 04:02 • Filed to: None

I'm pissed, beyond belief. My fiancee's son of a bitch little brother jacks my keys, takes my car for a joyride, and gets pulled over! I don't know if he wrecked or anything, but the car is in police possession until we can get it out. Now her little brother is 18, no license, no learner's permit, already has a record, and just recently got off house arrest. Why the police didn't just arrest him tonight, i have no clue, but when I'm not so goddamn tired, he is going to catch some serious hell from me. From now on, i gotta keep my house locked, AND my keys hidden. Fucking hell. You don't do that shit. You don't fuck with another person's car, especially when that person is marrying your older sister, and you have to deal with him for a very long time.

People are fucking idiots, Oppo. I mean, really, that's the kind of dumb shit that'll get you locked up or dead. Now i can't fucking sleep, I'm beyond angry. Apparently he feels bad about it, because he "really screwed up". Damn right he did, and I'll be damned if i do anything for him again anytime soon.

DISCUSSION (50)

pip bip - choose Corrour > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 04:09

belt the living daylights out of the little shit!

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 04:09

That is unbelievably dumb, you'd think he was 11 not 18.

PS9 > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 04:11

especially when that person is marrying your older sister, and you have to deal with him for a very long time.

Not anymore. "Sorry honey. I love you and everything, but your brother is an asshole car thief and I won't be having anything to do with him from now on. He and I are done. Don't bring him to the house, don't invite him to our family functions and don't have him arrive at places you expect me to be at."

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > PS9
03/29/2015 at 04:17

There will be changes along those lines for sure. But, he's her brother, and i won't be able to avoid all contact with him, as he lives in the lower split level of our house, unless i kick him out entirely, which i thought about.

Alex from Toronto > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 04:18

Talk to your fiancee.

Then I suggest you beat his ass.

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > pip bip - choose Corrour
03/29/2015 at 04:19

I'd break him in half. I probably have over 100lbs on him, despite being a bit shorter. He is scrawny. Tempting to break his jaw though.

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
03/29/2015 at 04:20

Yes it really is. And he just got off house arrest for breaking into a flea market and stealing a bunch of shit.

pip bip - choose Corrour > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 04:21

do it.

douchebag deserves it by the sound of it.

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > Alex from Toronto
03/29/2015 at 04:24

I talked to her. She called me about three hours ago to tell me. Haven't gotten back to sleep since.

She's pissed as well. And he should be more afraid of her than he should be of me. I'm not a small guy, and I can be intimidating but she is a firecracker for sure. Italian heritage on both sides of the family will do that lol. He'll be put in line.

Alex from Toronto > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 04:26

That's good she's putting him in line. But for now have a drink and try not to think about it too much.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 04:28

What a complete tit.

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > Alex from Toronto
03/29/2015 at 04:28

No alcohol in the house :/ I feel like I really need a cigarette though...

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
03/29/2015 at 04:39

To put it lightly, yes.

saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 04:41

If this is his first offense, I'd say be understanding and don't kick him out: we've all been 18 and stupid or will be 18 and stupid at some point. It'll do no good to make him want to rebel even more.

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars
03/29/2015 at 04:55

Well, as far as this kind of thing, I think it is. He was on house arrest for months for breaking into a flea market and stealing merchandise from them. So he's not exactly a pillar of the community.

OkCars- 22k Crossroads > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 05:23

would it help if you report it stolen?

Getting physical may worsen things with him and maybe he would want revenge but without you knowing. (Scratching the paint) (nails on your driveway)

Svend > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 05:59

I would certainly kick him out the house. Stealing your car keys from your house while he is living there. You can't do much about your car keys being in your house but you can make sure he's not in there also.

I mean house arrest for B&E and theft. Now TWOC'ing (taking without owner's consent).

I would be telling him I don't and can't trust him in or with my property and to leave or the very least he's on his final and only warning and he's out.

Pitchblende > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 06:04

Don't do anything rash, it's bad enough without you getting a police charge of your own, let the law system handle the punishment. I would let you fiancée take the lead, she might be more inclined to forgive, but let her know that it is absolutely the last chance, you don't want the little turdbasket to come between the two of you. Remember you can mete out more subtle punishments like making his continued tenancy subject to him completing a few hours of community volunteer work each week.

Old-Busted-Hotness > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 06:31

He only feels bad about getting caught. Unleash the fists of justice.

jkm7680 > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 07:42

Press charges. That'll teach him a lesson.

Rick Furnival > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 07:59

As the man said, "here's your sign." Kick him out. He"ll either grow up, or he will remain a thief. Him living in your basement is a sure path to the latter.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 08:09

Your headline is entirely appropriate for this story and serves as a TL;DR on its own.

Sorry to hear this...the fact you can compose such a coherent post after this is impressive. It's outrageous behavior, and even more complicated by the family situation. Hopefully this will be an actual learning experience for him?

yamahog > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 08:23

Ah WTF that's awful! I hope you can get your car back ok, and I applaud your restraint in not beating the piss out of him. As satisfying as it would be, it'll probably only make things worse.

My dad was in a similar situation once, his live-in girlfriend had two piece of shit kids, one of whom stole his truck and proceeded to use it in a crime and did a little bit of damage to it as well. Dad's gf refused to kick out her (adult) children, so he kicked them all out.

However, my dad has the communication skills of a brick. This is going to be a really tough conversation to have with your fiance, but if she doesn't already realize her brother is a toxic piece of shit, you'll have to delicately guide her to that conclusion so she can help get him out of your house and/or lives, otherwise you're just the bad guy to the rest of the family. But sometimes family needs to realize that they're not immune from the consequences of the awful things they put us through. If you two plan to raise kids together, is this the type of uncle you want in their lives?

And don't fall for the "he feels really bad about it now," it's just a way to guilt you into forgiving him. A real apology has three parts, and that's barely one of them.

Your boy, BJR > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 08:55

Convince her to do really loud IDB. Then you win forever.

Matthew Phillips > saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars
03/29/2015 at 09:04

I never stole my parents car at 18....

That's death waiting to happen

Matthew Phillips > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 09:05

step one: make him get a job

Step two: make him pay rent

Step three: if he complains about the other two steps, tell him he's welcome to leave anytime.

deekster_caddy > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 09:37

That sucks. Tell him anything like that ever happens again and you have no choice but to report the car stolen.

When I was driving a wrecker I had to scrape up a car at 2AM, two teenage kids sitting beside the highway, their blood all over the inside of the car. They took Dad's new Lexus out for a joyride, lost it going too fast in a curve and completely wrecked it. Blood all over the place etc. The car was a lease from dad's company and his kids weren't on his insurance, found out later that he had to report it as stolen.

It was the first crash I came upon as a true 'first responder' - I discovered it and called it in. I was driving home from another tow job and came across tire tracks, then a front bumper and then a whole long stream of fluids, glass and parts. I'm amazed the car hadn't rolled over but the kids definitely weren't wearing seat belts and they were tossed all around the inside of the car. I stopped and had my dispatcher call it in, put out flares and gave basic medical attention to the kids. I felt bad for them.

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 09:41

Italian? Or Sicilian?

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123
03/29/2015 at 09:50

Looks like the surname was common in Sicily lol

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > deekster_caddy
03/29/2015 at 09:52

Jesus Christ. That's terrifying. Luckily, I found out he didn't wreck our car and didn't get too far with it, but yes, next time it will be reported stolen.

NoneOfYourBiz > PS9
03/29/2015 at 09:54

THIS.

If she doesn't get it, you're really fucked; you are marrying into the crazy.

macanamera > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 09:55

Stab him. Well, that might be a bit too much. Stab him lightly.

NoneOfYourBiz > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 09:56

How long before he stops paying rent or comes home drunk, tries to deep fry something and burns the place down?

Chalk it up to being tired but I think you may not be seeing just how deep you are into this guy.

He needs to be out of your life, entirely.

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > NoneOfYourBiz
03/29/2015 at 10:13

I know what a terrible person he is for the most part, but i also can't forget he saved my daughter from getting seriously hurt a few months ago, when an entertainment center collapsed in front of her, going straight for her head, and he grabbed her out of the way and took the brunt of the damage himself. I owe him for that.

Yes, in general, i usually can't stand him. He's your typical depressed emo teen who's actually got not much reason to be depressed. But, he truly does care about our daughter, so i know there is a part of him that is good.

And i try to see the best in people. I'm very laid back and easygoing. This DID piss me off, and if he had wrecked, i would've been more pissed, but i would've made sure he was ok ahead of anything else.

But yes, generally, he's a troublemaker, and his mom believes he can do no wrong, and his dad, well, let's not get into that... That's what really irritates me. He never pays consequences. But, from now on, he's going to. We're gonna figure out the best punishment for him, and since he was already on probation, he may face jail time as it is. I wouldn't bail him out. He'd sit out his full sentence, and hope to god that he learned his lesson.

OPPOsaurus WRX > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 10:15

nah man don't break his jaw. Yoy don't want to hit him where it leaves bruises never mind broken jaws

OPPOsaurus WRX > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 10:16

sounds like you have a grounds keeper living at your house now. make that kid work till he bleeds. Make sure to double the work load if he looks hung over

Slave2anMG > PS9
03/29/2015 at 10:18

What CJ said. Barring a major miracle/life change on the boy's part, this is going to only get worse. And miracles are rare. Then when I read the knucklehead lived downstairs...*shudder*...

Run. RUN. She won't turn her back on him...99.9999% certain of that. I'm supporting my deadbeat brother-in-law now...

NoneOfYourBiz > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 10:26

That makes a lot of sense. Seems like you've given this a lot of thought.

Your point about paying for consequences is a good one. He does good stuff that you're thankful for but he's going to learn he has to pay for the wrong he does.

Sounds like you've got a handle on it. I hope the kid doesn't let you down.

FWIW, a friend of mine approaches this Socratically. When his kid does something dumb (skips school, stays out past curfew etc) he just calmly asks the kid, "We put a roof over your head. We feed you, and clothe you. What does it say about you when you take advantage of us? What would you do if someone did those things?" Invariably, the "consequences" the kid comes up with are far worse than what the parent could.

I humbly suggest though, if your fiancee's brother just throws it back in your face when confronted and isn't humble about it, he may never be reachable.

Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 10:30

What size shoe do you wear?

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 10:38

It's a family affair.

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 11:23

Then he'll get what's coming to him.

coqui70 > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 11:51

Dude if he saved your daughter's life buy him his own damn car so he doesn't take yours!

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > coqui70
03/29/2015 at 12:06

If I had the money, I would. It'd be a super cheap beater because I know he'd wreck it. But my finances will not allow me to spend even $5 out of budget right now.

PS9 > yamahog
03/29/2015 at 13:13

A real apology has three parts, and that's barely one of them.

Also, a non-apology doesn't count at all. "I'm sorry you got mad." is a middle finger in sheeps clothing, and in a just world will result in a broken jaw if he whips this one out.

cornerslide > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 13:15

The only thing I've seen work is to ratchet up the consequences each time they screw up. I am at a loss as to why the police didn't arrest him. If he's been under house arrest and still did something like this it didn't do anything to improve his judgement. Going from b&e to car theft (that's what this is) shows he hasn't learned anything. He's acting like a selfish child that wants what he wants no matter the effect on anyone else. If this act doesn't carry consequences more severe than the first the only thing he's feel is relief in getting away with it.

aquila121 > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 14:35

I sympathize with you—I second the mantra that you don't mess with another person's car. If there's any monetary requirement to getting the car back in your possession, I imagine that you've considered that amount being repaid as (part) of the kid's punishment.

My only advice is that you walk a fine line from here on out between knowing he has a history of stupid decisions/holding a grudge beyond this point if he starts actually turning his life around and being a decent human being. I'm not saying that you'd have to trust him with important things such as your car, just try not to condemn him indefinitely because of this. I'm guessing that your fiancee will take note of how you deal with this kid long-term—he is her family, after all. It sounds like you and your fiancee will find a way to talk over what's an appropriate set of consequences, as well as how to proceed when interacting with him. That's good, keep that line of communication open. I'm sure the last thing that you want is for the little brother to be a wedge in your relationship.

Lastly, if something like this happens again, is it feasible to report it as stolen if he's (somewhat) related to you through your fiancee? I had a co-worker whose ex-husband stole his parent's car after drinking far too much (post-DUI, no license, second time busted driving without said license) and wrecked it doing 108 mph on the freeway and blowing some ungodly BAC. After the smoke cleared and charges were filed, I heard they couldn't even make "auto theft" stick in the massive list (because it was his mom's car), so that aspect of it came down to "unauthorized use." Whatever the case, I sincerely hope that the kid gets his head straight immediately, and that you don't face this kind of stress again.

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > aquila121
03/29/2015 at 15:58

Well, if he turns things around, we'll chalk this up to a stupid mistake and be cautious with him. People do stupid things. I don't know if we could report it as a theft if it happens again. We're on the hook for $175 to clear the tow bill and it will be paid back. We are both mad at him, but things happen. It hopefully will pass, but trust will take some time.

saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/29/2015 at 17:06

Dear. Lord. I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this stuff.

saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars > Matthew Phillips
03/29/2015 at 17:07

Neither did I, but I think we all did dumb stuff to varying degrees.

Meatcoma > WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
03/30/2015 at 12:47

Welcome to the Fa-mi-ly!